31. Emirates Road

Every country in the entire world has that one road, that one road that is famous for any reason imaginable.  For example the USA has Route 66, a road that spans the width and breadth of the nation from Los Angeles to Chicago offering sublime views of the former colonies through every conceivable landscape.  Bolivia has The North Yungas Road – which literally translates into the The Road of Death…need I say any more?  The Britain Kingdom has the M25, perhaps the most horrible and grotty metropolitan orbital road in the all the world, famous for it general crapness and congestion.  The UAE has Emirates Road, the E11, a road that runs the length of the land from Ras Al Khaimah toAbu Dhabi.

Emirates Road is at its worst on the Dubai stretch between the E33 (the Al Ain-Dubai Road) and the Sharjah Border.  There are 7 lanes running both northbound and southbound, yet for some reason the vehicles that use the road seem to travel in many directions…either into each other or into the central reservation.  On their roofs.

Bring that road down Mr. Gorbachev, bring that road down

Emirates Road is a lot like Communism.  On paper and then in theory it all made sense.  A wonderful ideology that meant there would be equality, peace and efficiency for all eternity.  Sadly though, in practice it was fundamentally flawed and Karl Marx was left with egg on his face when it all went belly up and Mr. Gorbachev ended up bringing the wall down.  Communism relied solely on the people it controlled all understanding it and following its rules to the letter.  But this was wishful thinking as it is in mankind’s blood to strive for better things.  Inevitably then each man and woman will look after themselves to try to be better off…this goes against the very fabric of the Communist regime.

It is exactly like Emirates Road.  It was designed to allow equal and unhindered passage, so that Lorries, Trucks, Cars and Bikes could run side by side in the greatest show of unity in the history of the world.  But no, everyone wants to be at their destination first, they want to be the fastest vehicle on the road, everyone else is in inferior.  I don’t care if you have a baby on board, get out of my way before my 4×4 eats you.

I have never witnessed such reckless abandon on a single road in all my life.  Whenever my day requires me to traverse this tarmac river of misery I cringe and twist trying to get out of it.  It seems that whenever someone finds themselves on this road they lose their conscience.  They have no regard for the safety of others and if you get to the other end unscathed then you’ve done well.  I cannot a recall a single day where I have not heard of a report of an incident on the Radio.

The solution then?  Just like the Reagan Doctrine, join its opponents and don’t go there…let it destroy itself.

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6 thoughts on “31. Emirates Road

  1. Bodacious says:

    Read a few of your posts. Having lived in Dubai, I know exactly what you are talking about. Great blog…

  2. I always find it funny that the only thing that moves here quickly is traffic. Nothing gets done in an office in a timely manner, my students walk slower than elderly people with canes – but cars, cars are fast! I don’t understand why they drive so fast when all they are going to do once they get to their destination is move slower than molasses.

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